Stay in Your Lane

Recently, I hired a posing coach. Ok, don’t laugh. There is such a thing. Since deciding to train and compete in a local Figure Competition (known more commonly as Bodybuilding), I realized I'm in need of polishing my stance.

Each competitor is required to perform two separate poses. The first is what is known as 'quarter turns'. Picture yourself lined up on stage, in your competition bikini, with your fellow competitors on each side of you. The judges yell out, "quarter turn," and you turn 90 degrees to your left. Sounds easy, but I bet you didn't factor in that you're wearing 5 inch heels! The second pose is a 60 second choreographed 'T-walk' to the beat of a pre-selected song, and you guessed it - you must rhythmically strut your stuff in those same daunting 5 inch heels. This part is new to me and honestly, rather frightening. Therefore, I decided that hiring a posing coach is definitely in my best interest.

And so I met with Coach Kellie. Within the first 30 seconds, she fixed my back pose, which I felt I had never mastered for my first two competitions. This is a power pose done standing with your back to the audience and puffing yourself up - curving your back to look like a cobra ready to strike - all the while showing off all your hard-earned back muscles. We then walked through the 'quarter turns' and she made adjustments to my stance, my shoulders, and even where my hands should be placed.

After an hour of contortions, we called it a night. As I began the 12 min drive home, my heart was grateful. I thought of Kellie’s wisdom and the way she was able to guide me into postures that showcased my physique. Yet, in a split second, my thankful thoughts did a quarter-turn of their own. My thanksgiving turned into coveting, and comparing - I wanted what she had.

For most people, I imagine they may covet someone else’s body, or clothing, or their status in life, etc. Nope. Not me. I began comparing myself to this sweet, young coach, wanting to possess her knowledge of our shared sport. Next, my thoughts did another quarter-turn, and before I was fully conscious of it, my mind was flooded with the age-old lie: I'm not good enough. I don’t measure up as a personal trainer.

7 more minutes passed, and as I continued driving home I let these thoughts turn around my perspective, my attitude, and my emotions - until I was spinning out of control! Ninety degrees to the left - they're judging me. Ninety degrees to the left again - they're shouting at me. Each negative thought lined up beside me in an endless line of comparisons on either side .... I listened to them … as they mocked me. I believed them. And then, suddenly it stopped.

A still, small voice found its way onto center stage. “Stay in your lane", it pleaded.

I looked to my left and my right, suddenly aware of all the road construction I’d been driving through. Also, it was nighttime, and my eyes don't work so well in the dark. I squinted through the glaring lights competing to reach my cornea.

I answered this gentle voice with an annoyed, “I am in my lane!”

But then it hit me, slamming into my consciousness. This voice of instruction...His voice of instruction...was not about my driving skills, navigating through the orange pylons and traffic hazards, but rather my mind that was spinning out of control and into the danger zone.

His voice was calling me out of the sin of comparison & coveting. I had measured myself next to another personal trainer, becoming a judge and marking myself unworthy. I had desired to possess the skills that she had gained for myself. The road my mind was traveling down would only lead me into a perpetual round-about. Jesus became a road-sign in that moment, an arrow pointing me to the off-ramp. Thankfully, I took it.

Now normally, through years of trial & error, I tend to recognize the lies sooner. I've learned the importance of taking thoughts like these captive, making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). But not on that night. On that night, I thought and instantly - I believed.

Lies are like that. Sometimes they hit us like an 18-wheeler. Other times they saddle up beside us, slowly pushing us to cross the white line, leaving us stranded in a muddy ditch in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to get off track, to become distracted from my destination. That's exactly what the Enemy wants. He wants us to believe that we’ll never measure up. He wants to defeat us before we even take the wheel.

Instead, I intentionally shifted gears, and chose the high road, aware that the Holy Spirit living in me had helped me navigate the obstacles and shown a light on a dark path I had started down. The remainder of my drive home, I returned to grateful thoughts for Coach Kellie - for her hard-earned coaching skills and desire and willingness to use those skills to help me prepare to take the stage.

I “stayed in my lane” by reorienting my mind on truth. I possess my own unique skill sets that God allows me to bring to my own clients, and He’s provided unique opportunities in this season in my life - like the upcoming Figure Competition. My clientele is different from Kellie’s. I am different from Kellie. And thank God for that! I believe we have each been given the gift of reaching people uniquely. Both of us are equally worthy.

As I pulled into the driveway, I thanked God for my life and for each of my amazing clients. I asked Him to make me a blessing in each of their "lanes" as we all learn to travel the superhighway of the mind together.